I wanted my blog to be different because I’m different. I never was a color inside the lines kind of person. My creativity and nonchalant way, and yes denial is how I got through so many things in my life with so many ups and downs. I always had a way of putting a positive spin on pretty much everything.
Even when I started doing my treatments for cancer I didn’t make a big deal about it .I didn’t take pictures of myself bald and put them on my social media because to me it was the worst time of my life I couldn’t see wanting pictures of such a horrific time in my life. I even wore a full face of makeup and a wig most of the time I left my house. Yes I was different I even drove myself to all 28 rounds of radiation and went alone.
One of the few pictures of me with my son and short pink hair. This was during my radiation.
Because I didn’t want sympathy I was strong and I could do this maybe looking back I could have asked for more help. Looking back at my treatments and so many Drs telling me I was a special case which really means I’ve never seen anything like this and your treatments are a guessing game.
Then after not one not 2 not 3 but 4 reconstruction surgeries with a surgeon I trusted.Looking back that was a mistake.
My last surgery I found out my problem was a Hospital Acquired Infection through his first surgery that caused almost 6 months of an open wound that was 5 inches across and 2 inches deep it had to heal on its own and have home health care to clean and dress it 4 times a week.
My nightmare lasted so much longer than any other woman I knew with breast cancer.
But I couldn’t let roadblock’s stop me from healing my mind, body and soul.
Even though I was stuck in a recliner for about 5 extra months healing the large wound.
I tried being positive again and tried again to take my mind off the negative. So I started writing again after years of putting down my pen to be a wife, mother, business owner and caretaker for my mom that also was a survivor of breast cancer.
It was important for me to finally put myself first.
So I tried using my time constructively
My wound that opened in October of 2018 this was 6 months after all my radiation, chemo and all treatments were done. So I was planning on returning to my own business as an Esthetician, especially because as I did my radiation I also got an extra certificate in Oncology Esthetics. It was so important for me to help other women going through cancer treatments.
I couldn’t wait to get back to doing what I loved
but because of this wound and infection I wouldn’t be able to do anything.
I felt useless I had no sick leave, extra help and bills were piling up on us.
My husband was a hard worker, but putting it all on him because of my cancer just felt like another burden.
I thought my experience needed a voice Everybody thinks when they give money for Susan Koman or some other cancer organization it goes to help women in need. Yes a certain amount goes for the cure I hope but what about the women suffering?? Well most don’t give anything to actual people it’s mostly for grants for experimental medicine or so they say, but actually finding a charity or organization for help that’s another story.
This is the story that I want to tell
in my upcoming blogs I want you to follow me through the path I took to try to get any bit of help and the barbaric way these charities make women compete with each other for any assistance if it’s even offered.Help me change this so women who are diagnosed can truly heal.
